THE KING AND I

One fascinating part of my childhood was my relationship with my dad. As a child, a relationship with my dad was pretty much non-existent. Did I know him as my father? Yes! Did I know he loved me? Yes! Even though just like many dads in my part of the world, He was better at showing his love than vocalizing it.

As amazing as that was, the imbalance gradually turned him into just a fixer! Okay, let me explain that… Was my school fees due? Daddy will fix it! Did I need books or anything else? Daddy will fix it! Did I feel sick? Daddy will fix it. Daddy could fix pretty much anything that was not alright and that was it!

I did not bother to know my dad beyond his name, his job(s), schools attended,the obvious habits and character that were visible enough to my childish eyes. And so easily, I blamed my dad for our non-existent relationship – despite living in same house.

Fast forward to when I finally completed my first degree and got my first job, now that is where the interesting part begins. Slowly, I began to appreciate my dad’s concept of love – show love thrice as much as you say it!

I now had to “fix” some things I certainly took for granted, thanks to my Mr. Fix-It and then I realized it was not half as easy as my dad made it look. He fixed it or got someone to fix whatever the problem was like it was a piece of cake, I did not understand that sometimes (if not always), that meant putting his needs at the back burner so my siblings and I could be alright.

I gradually understood that daddy was not a workaholic because he did not feel like resting but because the extra hours brought in the little extra for the basic luxuries he wanted us to have.

Spending more time with my dad, discussing with him on many random things ranging general well being, to health, to work, our family and pretty much any other thing has helped me know and understand him better. It has helped give closure to the questions I had as a child and now as a young woman I am overwhelmed at how in no small measure He has shown me pure unadulterated love.

The relationship we have, now that we know each other better is exciting. As a child I looked forward to when he travelled so I can have my space and “do my thing” but now, when I know he’s coming home, I can’t wait to round off from work to go home. Those hours before my bed time where I just spend time with him recounting how my day went and pretty much filling him on everything he missed, is priceless! I would not trade that for anything.

Now, I do not just have a theoretical knowledge of how much my dad loves me and how much I love him, but in my heart and in my mind I truly feel the love and I am content!

Why this litany? Growing up, my mom always said, everything that happens in my life God let it happen for a reason and MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, we will understand why soon enough.

I have had moments when I was lazy to pray, too busy to make out time to study my bible or just too sleepy to spend some time in His presence and lately all I can think about is, there was a time when you were so lazy to get to know your own dad and now you can’t shut up about him neither can you contain your excitement when you know you two are going to have some time together so who is benefiting out of this loving relationship you now have with your dad?

How did I get this point with my dad? Constant communication. Some times, I had to sit through and listen to conversations that (to be honest) I was absolutely uninterested in, but listening to how much he wanted to share with me, made it worthwhile and gradually, no conversation seems to be boring any more.

I’m still learning to push all things aside and place priority on my relationship with God – and I am aware this means I may have to wake up extra early to have that quiet moment I need with Jesus to start my day, or give up some unnecessary social engagements to have more time to study my bible, or give up some unhealthy friendships and habits or just take inventory of what stands in the way of my being a lot more focused on my walk with God and do my best to take out as much distraction as I can.

In the beginning, just like with my dad it may feel like you are making little or no progress at all but be assured that even the tiniest progress with God is good progress and better than giving up.

For every time you feel weary or simply insufficient  Philippians 3:12-14 is great encouragement:

¹²Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. ¹³Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, ¹⁴I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Love Always,

Sitamka.

 

KNIT FOR THE JOURNEY

Today, during my bible study I was directed to Psalm 139:13-16 (I particularly love the wording of the New Living Translation) and to say the least I was in awe of God’s overwhelming love.

He did not just “mass produce” the human race, He carefully handcrafted each individual to fit His purpose. Every single detail about the person you see staring back at you in the mirror, was carefully thought out, none of it was a mistake or mere happenstance.

The Psalmist had me reeling with excitement at the wordings of verse 16.

“You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed”

That verse got me heaving a sigh of relief knowing that God is aware of every part of my journey- the joy, the excitement, the strengths, the weaknesses, the abuse, the bullying, the insecurities, the hurt, the pain, the mistakes, the disappointments- even before I experienced it. None of it happened without His knowledge, none of it was a coincidence, nor a mistake , He was absolutely aware of it all.

Doesn’t that just make you feel some sense of relief and give some reassurance of His love knowing that God is constantly aware of everything that happens – every second, every minute, every hour- meaning we are never really alone through any situation we may be experiencing.

The main thing to keep in mind through all of these scriptures is that every single experience of the  past and present are necessary for the future God has planned for you. You cannot afford to take any experience of your life for granted just because it was painful, or hurt or you made a mistake, God factored all of that into the fabric you were made up of.

Every turn your life takes is necessary for the predestined end God promised they that love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Hang in there, God has got you covered and be encouraged in the face of that storm you are currently going through, He is not unaware of the challenges you are facing and He is counting on you to push through because He has equipped you for it long before you came into being.

Love Always,

Sitamka.

 

NEW BEGINNINGS

Ever get that feeling where, you just wish you could wipe your slate, clean and start afresh?

Well, I have! And today, on my way home from work more than most days, I wished I could just go back to being maybe 5(years old) and then do quite a lot of things right.

And just then it hit me, now is as good a time as any to start again/afresh.

Oh no honey, no pills have yet been made to selectively rid your mind of the memories of mistakes made or even do anything close but every day you wake you have a chance to rewrite your story.

Before now, I thought every day was God’s way of saying start afresh but more than that, I think  it’s God’s way of saying you made some mistakes yesterday, those are behind you but here’s another 24hrs, make me proud sweetie.

How you make use of it, is up to you but be assured laying back and wishing does nothing  for the errors already made.

But if today, we trust God with our weakness and rely on him for strength to please him, and make our little consistent steps towards pleasing him, a few years from now we will realize that we indeed had the fresh start we wanted.
May today be the day you look back in your lifetime and smile in awe of God’s unending grace.

WELCOME TO 2017 …

Love Always,

Sitamka.

Dear Jesus…

Dear Jesus,

Today, I felt you more than I have, for a rather long long time.

As I sat in the taxi, overcome with worry about how upset my boss was with the short notice I had given about my intention to be late (even though with good reason) and just then I felt the need to pray.

I did, and No! the fear did not just vanish but slowly and surely it was replaced with peace and then courage. I did not notice the courage until I heard you say “Go speak with your boss once you get in ” and I did not panic.

I walked into the office and did just that and in place of screams I got a peaceful conversation.

That, as little a gift as it may seem, was such a huge burden off my chest. Not just because I did not have to spend the rest of the day working in a tension filled environment but because it was a really gentle reminder that you are concerned in even the smallest things that concern me, and that, Sweet Lord, is an assurance I could live with for the rest of my days.

I cannot thank you enough but I am intensely grateful.

 

Love Always,

Sitamka.

Dear Jesus…

When I woke up yesterday earlier than usual at 4.15am. I was excited that I would have enough time to organize myself, get my make up done and still be at the office in good time.

It was so easy to wake up and slip into my basic morning routine and yet I forgot the most important detail of all – a few minutes with the One who gifted me the breathe that woke me up.

I could have easily taken my time to pray and even study my bible before getting my feet off my bed to do anything else. Looking back now, I realize my biggest pitfall is allowing my feet touch the ground before we talk, because I know how badly addicted I am to my patterns, my plans.

Oh my! I do not know how you love me so passionately even when i do little or nothing to reciprocate a love so amazing.

After taking my time to “doll” myself up, I realized I was running late and then… I remembered to call you and still you came through for me and I got in on time.

Still, the routines did not stop there, I could have taken a few minutes to say thank you but no, I got to my desk and slipped into my “busy” morning routine at work. And just like that before I could say “Jack”, yet another day ended.

Another 24hours without even an hour with you. Another 24hours gone by without knowing what your plans for me within those hours were. Another 24hours without adequate gratitude for the love and blessings I enjoyed because you still call me yours. Yet, this morning I was presented with a clean slate, a fresh start, a symbol of renewed love in the form of the breathe of life!

How is it even possible to love someone so passionately?

Indeed, no one could ever love me like you do.

Thank you for not counting my wrongs against me but instead wrapping me with the warmth of a love I could never really explain nor deserve.

I am indeed privileged to call you Father.

 

Your Beloved little girl,

Sitamka

 

 

 

 

DEAR JESUS…

 

Dear Jesus,

It is easy to come to you when my hearts’ heavy with sadness, worries, hurt, and even loneliness only after I have been turned down or disappointed by those who I expected to fix my issues for me. It is so easy for me to remember you when i stay up at night thinking through the truck load of things that did not go as I hoped and planned they would (especially when I gave you no thought when those plans where being made). It is even easier, to call on you when I cry myself to sleep, overwhelmed with the sadness, the pain and the hurt that words could never describe because then only to do i realize that you alone see right through me.

I want to be able to talk to you just because I love you, and know you never get tired of hearing the tiny little details about my day or even my life but sometimes consciously and otherwise I let things and people take your place in my heart.

Teach me Lord that as much as you have promised never to leave nor forsake me, you never want me to leave your presence either. Help me to make conscious efforts to develop my communication as well as my overall relationship with you. Amen.

Love Always,

Sitamka.

 

AMBASSADORS OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

Generally speaking, an ambassador is a respected official acting as a representative of a nation. Sent to a foreign land, the ambassadors’ role is to reflect the official position of the sovereign body that gave him authority. Every country in the world has ambassadors that stand as a representatives of such country and in most cases act on behalf of such country. 

In same vain, we as Christians are ambassadors of the Kingdom of God and as such our words and actions and even sometimes our inactions say something about the Kingdom we represent.

Just so you do understand me appropriately, let us work with a scenario that would help make this concept a lot clearer.

A young lady goes out to her network providers office to lodge a complaint about unnecessarily exorbitant rates charged on her cell phone. When she walks to the help desk, you try to explain certain transactions that may have occurred on her cell without her knowledge but she is too upset because she feels cheated and all she wants to hear is that she will be refunded, so she flips out on you and she notices the shock on your face but ignores it (because she doesn’t see why you should be shocked), she keeps venting and when she is done, without letting you finish, she stomps away. Unknown to her, since you have to work even on Sundays sometimes, you join an online fellowship where she sometimes ministers (hence the earlier surprise on your face as you could not match the nice lady you watch online with the woman who just left your office). When the next Sunday comes and you are working, would you have same enthusiasm to join in that online fellowship? Your guess is as good as mine.

Given the directly opposite scenario, the lady though upset was polite and courteous to you, and even in the event she was rude to you because anger or frustration got the best of her, she quickly apologizes for her attitude and thanks you for your service. When you have another opportunity to join in that fellowship it will be with more excitement because she left you with a good impression.

Evangelism is our supreme task and some times, the life you live is all the evangelism you need, to draw an onlooker to Christ. No words spoken, no songs or hymns sang, no big deed just the tiny little details that make up your lifestyle.

What does your life say about the Kingdom you represent?

Does your lifestyle reflect the values the Kingdom of God promotes? Does it reflect love,  kindness,  mercy, charity, peace,  forgiveness,  patience,  righteousness, joy,  humility,  truthfulness, perseverance and all the other virtues the Holy Bible speaks of?

Or does your lifestyle reflect the direct opposite of all these virtues?

Does your character as well as your words show off your integrity, honesty,loyalty and more importantly, love for your King?

When your neighbour discusses you with someone, do they speak of your godliness and yearn to draw closer to God because of you?

Can your co-workers and staff speak of your Christian values and want to know God just because he/she has been blessed being in your company?

What testimony do your family, friends, and acquaintances have of you?

Can random people whom you met in the course of the day thank God because you treated them nicely with love and kindness?

A simple smile to a someone who is having a bad day, simple kind word to lift a person’s spirit, a simple apology when you hurt your neighbour or even a simple thank you to the cab driver who got you to your destination (even though you paid for his services) goes a long way.

As a Christian, you are in a position of great responsibility. So, before you act or speak, or even when you are faced with any task or duty or situation or responsibility, the most important thoughts to bear in mind include:

Would this be a good or bad representation of God’s Kingdom?

When this person leaves me, will this person want to know Jesus because of the way I spoke or acted?

Would Jesus Christ be proud of me for this?

If your answers are in the affirmative, by all means,  go ahead BUT if not ABORT MISSION! I repeat, ABORT MISSION!

Let your aim be to bring people to the knowledge of God in every way possible. Live as though, your life is an advertisement of the Kingdom of God.

The vices the devil can use to keep you from representing the Kingdom of God properly could can come in so many ways but I will mention two that are usually very regular hindrances- Pride and Guilt.

Pride in the sense that, sometimes in a bit to show off “who or what we are” we fail God. On the other hand guilt in the sense that, the devil can use literally anything and anyone to guilt trip you. Could be just magnifying your sins, shielding you from awareness of God’s unending gift of forgiveness or acquaintances who make you feel like “why bother, you know you will fall anyways?”

Whatever it is that hinders you, ask yourself- “Is that worth my place in heaven?” Your guess is as good as mine as to what the answer will be.

God’s grace as you seek to please Him and be a good ambassador of the Kingdom of God.

PRAYER:

Father, thank you for choosing someone as insignificant as me, loving me and trusting me with the task of representing your Kingdom. Help me to be a good ambassador of your Kingdom and give me the grace to overcome everything that stands in the way of my pleasing you. Amen!

Love Always,

Sitamka.

i-INSPIRE

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Hebrews 3:13

“You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God.”

Today is a good day to turn away from your sins and return to God, and let Him fill you with more peace and joy than you could have ever hoped for. Do not let your sins continually separate you from the warmth of His love. Turn to Him today, He’s waiting with arms open wide.

PRAYER:

Father, as I go through this day, help me to please you in all I do. May my sins not be an excuse to run away from you knowing that I need you most each time I fall. Thank you Lord for your grace, Amen.